Hi, I'm a woman from the beginning of the Generation X era whose uprooted my life and living with my mom who was born before the baby boomer generation to help take care of her.  I uprooted my life six years ago starting when my stepfather passed away after a brief hospice and I packed up a suitcase and left my home in another city not knowing that I wouldn't be going back home. I drank some shots of vodka before I left to drag my luggage four miles up and down hills to the train station, stopping at the convenience store to pick up a bottle of wine on my way. 

I made it all the way to the train station, got on board and after ninety minutes and a nap, I got off at LA Union Station stopping for a quick breakfast some french toast and eggs before taking a cab to the house that I lived in during a huge chunk of my life in time to receive my bedroom assignment and drop off my bags before we all headed off to the nearby Catholic church for my stepfather's memorial. 

It was a lovely service. My parents' favorite eatery sent a flower display and its owner sat with my mother who'd become a widow in the front row holding her hand throughout. I being the second eldest child was assigned a biblical reading but when I went up to the podium to read it, expecting a copy of it there to help me discovered that there was no prompt for me to read. A few minutes of awkardness and confusion before a priest helped me out by hastily delivering a Bible to me with the page marked for me to read and I said something to break the silence that sometimes happens when things don't happen according to plan and performed the reading. I don't have many strengths or so I'm reminded of over and over by those who claim to know me best, but improvation is one I do have.  That aside it was a lovely memorial for my stepfather but at some point I made the decision to stay with my mother after my family departed back home to multiple cities in four different countries all across the world.  Not heading back home right away seemed like the right decision to do back then. All of my siblings, inlaws and their children went back home back to their lives but there was no plan for my mother who was left behind to grieve the loss of her husband that had been an intregal part of her life and ours for nearly 45 years. When your gut instinct tells you that she might need some family to stay with her what do you do? I stayed. 

Six years and one global pandemic here I am. Looking after my mom but wondering sometimes what the hell was I thinking.  Only because I couldn't see how challenging an experience this was about to become.